"That day when evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let us go over to the other side.' Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?' He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, 'Quiet! Be still!' Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to His disciples, 'Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?' They were terrified and asked each other, 'Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!'”
Mark 4:35-41.
I once heard it said that love and trust go hand in hand. If you love someone, you trust them. If you trust someone, it's usually because you love them. On the surface, it appears to be easy logic. I love my parents, and I trust them too. I trust my friends because I love them. If only I didn't see a discrepency in my own life with that logic.
The last two months of my life have been NUTS. With PSAT's, school, family life, my social life, my love of photography, and just the insanity of trying to get everything I want to done in one day, I know there have been times where my prayer life takes a blow for it. I don't pray as often as I should or remember to pray for everything I thought I would. And I know that for me, an inconsistent prayer life leads to an inconsistent relationship with Jesus on my end of the deal. I'm not always looking to glorify Him in all I do, every waking moment. Not exactly what a good Christian should be doing. It's not that I don't still LOVE my Lord, but in the craziness of earthly life, it's easy to forget about the spiritual side of your life that's equally, if not more, important.
Realizing this, I decided to change it. I got more on top of my prayer life. I started setting aside 5 or 10 minutes a morning to read scripture. And with that, the realization came out of the murky corner's of my mind, into the forefront:
My lack of simple trust in God.
To start my daily scripture adventure, I decided to delve into the Gospel of Mark. Hear one account of the words that came straight out of Jesus' mouth. At first the messages seemed pretty simple Christian Ethics: Be forgiving of other people's sins. Follow the example of the apostles and disciples; that is, to leave everything behind to follow Jesus and His mission to evangelize the word of God our Father to the world. But as I read through the middle of Chapter 4 in the Gospel of Mark, something struck me in the parable of seed that was planted. Where some landed in places of fertile soil where it grew, but some fell where it was choked by weeds, thorns, rocks, or the sun. As Jesus explained the parable shortly thereafter, his statement in verse 18-19 hit me like a ton of bricks:
"Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful."
While I'm hardly one who plans on owning two mansions and a yacht by the time I'm 30, I find myself constantly wondering how I'll provide for myself less than a decade from now. Where will I get a job? How much will it pay? Would it be enough for me to provide for myself, or even, a family? Will it be something I love like Special Education or Photography, or should I be looking at more "realistic" options? And with all of these questions bearing on my mind (of my own doing), I forget to pray. I question whether God will be there for me when I need Him, or if I'll be left high and dry.
I took the words from those verses to heart, not wanting to let whatever the world wants me to worry about be the death of my Christian convictions. But things only became clearer after reading the story of Jesus calming the storm. The apostles knew Jesus could do Miracles. That He never let them down before. And yet there they are, fearing He'll let them die at sea, when He calmed the storm as soon as they woke Him. Not only is it a lesson in depending on Jesus, but that 5 letter word I so aim to better accomplish with God:
trust.
As I look back on all that has happened in the past year of my life, with my unexpectedly life-changing trip to the Ukraine completely re-routing my goals in life, I so clearly see that if I had left it in God's hands, let Him work what He wished and not tried to fight it or ponder whether I thought it was "logical," I could have done even more than all of the amazing things God HAS given me the strength to do this year. Every time I leave it to Jesus, let go and let God, as the saying goes, the path becomes a little clearer. A little easier. A little more....Joyful. And for those reasons, the prayer of my heart, day in, day out, is "God, give me just one thing:
Simple Trust."
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
That Where We Are, There He Also Is
A week ago yesterday I was partying and sharing my heart for orphans with my fellow campers at Camp Veritas 2011. Last year, I blogged rather extensively about how much Camp Veritas means to me- you can find those posts in the tab above titled "Camp Veritas."
Without doing a 7-part novel to talk about every story, fond memory, and fantastic person I got to meet, I can safely say it was another fantastic year at Veritas.
As I went through the week enjoying a place of sanctuary with people that passionately love the Lord and want to live for Him, John 14:1-4 ran through my mind.“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
It's hard to leave a place where you feel God so apparently. We pray hard, play hard, and love each other deeply. For the first 48 hours, it poured rain. It rarely if ever stopped. Most groups of teens would have been done then and there. And yet we were playing slip and slide in the puddles and remaining energetic during Mass and Praise and Worship. Then once the sun finally showed itself, we were all even more energetic! Nothing broke us. We never surrendered. And on top of it, we praised our God through it all.
I gave my talk on orphan care Wednesday. The days before, while hardly lost, flew by as I prayed my heart out for guidance and protection from God and the Holy Spirit. By the time my talk was done Wednesday night, the week was already half over. and the second half of the week flew by. Needless to say come Saturday Morning, we were all in tears at the thought of parting. Even Ryan Young, director and founder of the whole event, was a little misty-eyed. We were tight with each other, with our camp, with our God. None of us wanted to leave.
In the days that followed our departure from camp, we all connected via Facebook and social networking, talking even more about our experience and how much it had changed us, and all of us still missed it. Withdrawal it was indeed.
As the week had drawn to a close, all of our counselors, priests, and religious encouraged us to be God's light in our own worlds. To not forget the passion, happiness, and energy a week of being with our Lord so intimately had given us. And at the time, in our complete happiness, it had seemed easy.
But now that it was put into action, it wasn't so easy. Where was that feeling of completion, of deep communion with God? We all tried our best to be our best- but we all relied on each other for support.
Then, as I thought about all we had been taught, what we had felt, another scripture came to mind- the one that ends ALL the Gospels. All four of them. In some wording, they all lead to the same message: "Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19-20)
Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in how what we're experiencing at the time affects our relationship with God. We can believe we need all the stops just to really know what it's like to be with Him, in full majesty, glory, and awesomeness.
But Jesus didn't just promise we'd be able to go where He went. He promised He'd be where we go.
Without doing a 7-part novel to talk about every story, fond memory, and fantastic person I got to meet, I can safely say it was another fantastic year at Veritas.
As I went through the week enjoying a place of sanctuary with people that passionately love the Lord and want to live for Him, John 14:1-4 ran through my mind.“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”
It's hard to leave a place where you feel God so apparently. We pray hard, play hard, and love each other deeply. For the first 48 hours, it poured rain. It rarely if ever stopped. Most groups of teens would have been done then and there. And yet we were playing slip and slide in the puddles and remaining energetic during Mass and Praise and Worship. Then once the sun finally showed itself, we were all even more energetic! Nothing broke us. We never surrendered. And on top of it, we praised our God through it all.
I gave my talk on orphan care Wednesday. The days before, while hardly lost, flew by as I prayed my heart out for guidance and protection from God and the Holy Spirit. By the time my talk was done Wednesday night, the week was already half over. and the second half of the week flew by. Needless to say come Saturday Morning, we were all in tears at the thought of parting. Even Ryan Young, director and founder of the whole event, was a little misty-eyed. We were tight with each other, with our camp, with our God. None of us wanted to leave.
In the days that followed our departure from camp, we all connected via Facebook and social networking, talking even more about our experience and how much it had changed us, and all of us still missed it. Withdrawal it was indeed.
As the week had drawn to a close, all of our counselors, priests, and religious encouraged us to be God's light in our own worlds. To not forget the passion, happiness, and energy a week of being with our Lord so intimately had given us. And at the time, in our complete happiness, it had seemed easy.
But now that it was put into action, it wasn't so easy. Where was that feeling of completion, of deep communion with God? We all tried our best to be our best- but we all relied on each other for support.
Then, as I thought about all we had been taught, what we had felt, another scripture came to mind- the one that ends ALL the Gospels. All four of them. In some wording, they all lead to the same message: "Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always, even to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19-20)
Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in how what we're experiencing at the time affects our relationship with God. We can believe we need all the stops just to really know what it's like to be with Him, in full majesty, glory, and awesomeness.
But Jesus didn't just promise we'd be able to go where He went. He promised He'd be where we go.
Camp Veritas 2011 Slideshow from Caleb Lococo on Vimeo.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
A Different Duty Calling
Today was the first time in months that I got a chance to play my family's Wii console. So when my turn came around, my first choice was one of my favorite games: Lord of the Rings: Aragorn's Quest. It's a classic Lord of the Rings fare: Riding your trusty steed through the lands of Middle Earth, fending off the powers of darkness with your magical elven sword. Lots of fun, for sure. Heroic deeds battling the dark, evil foes, it's good stuff. But as I played through a few levels, the fun ,while it didn't diminish, took on a far more somber tone for me.
I've played many of the popular First-Person Shooters that dominate the charts these days: the Halo franchise, Call of Duty, etc. While I don't own them (nor will I ever) I admit that they're VERY realistic, well-crafted, addicting games. The designers who came up with them are clearly not wanting for money, seeing as their concepts have grossed millions of dollars and hit record-breaking sale rates.
But as I play through many video games, whether it be running across an alien world in Halo or riding through Middle Earth on Horseback, I can't help but wonder what message games like these are implanting in the minds of their players. In virtual worlds where killing is not only survival but achievement, and the finness with which you do it can give you extra points, it's no wonder that in many way's we're a culture that is constantly pushing the envelope with the level of violence and graphic material we expose ourselves to. Most of the best-seller games on the market today not only promote heavy violence, but graphic content in other areas as well.
I was watching a clip of Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns, talking about being a youth pastor at his church. He was saying how he often gets asked about different music, what's good and bad to listen to, etc. His response was that it doesn't really matter how "not bad" something is, because it really matters what messages you're putting into your head. And if we as Christians are trying to lead a life of sanctity and purity, we shouldn't be consuming media that's dragging us into the life we're leaving behind.
Only to compound this, I couldn't help but think of all of the brave men and women in our military forces, serving our country in Iraq and Afghanistan. For them, horrific battles aren't a recreational activity to play on their flat-screens. It's their job. And in stead of getting "achievement points" for the lives they might claim in battle, they're haunted by them, maybe for the rest of their lives. So while many in my generation would run onto a computer-generated battlefield fearlessly and pull the virtual trigger without a second thought, men and women only a few years older than we have to fight on a real battlefield across the sea and muster an almost super-human amount of courage to fight for their very lives.
As I look at the real-life applications these games are presenting, I feel called to a different duty than to fight for endless hours on a virtual battleground that is far more realistic than it needs to be. I feel the call to have a clean mind free of the images, language, and other raw materials that these games bombard you with. That, in my humble opinion, is a far more valiant duty to be called to.
I've played many of the popular First-Person Shooters that dominate the charts these days: the Halo franchise, Call of Duty, etc. While I don't own them (nor will I ever) I admit that they're VERY realistic, well-crafted, addicting games. The designers who came up with them are clearly not wanting for money, seeing as their concepts have grossed millions of dollars and hit record-breaking sale rates.
But as I play through many video games, whether it be running across an alien world in Halo or riding through Middle Earth on Horseback, I can't help but wonder what message games like these are implanting in the minds of their players. In virtual worlds where killing is not only survival but achievement, and the finness with which you do it can give you extra points, it's no wonder that in many way's we're a culture that is constantly pushing the envelope with the level of violence and graphic material we expose ourselves to. Most of the best-seller games on the market today not only promote heavy violence, but graphic content in other areas as well.
I was watching a clip of Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns, talking about being a youth pastor at his church. He was saying how he often gets asked about different music, what's good and bad to listen to, etc. His response was that it doesn't really matter how "not bad" something is, because it really matters what messages you're putting into your head. And if we as Christians are trying to lead a life of sanctity and purity, we shouldn't be consuming media that's dragging us into the life we're leaving behind.
Only to compound this, I couldn't help but think of all of the brave men and women in our military forces, serving our country in Iraq and Afghanistan. For them, horrific battles aren't a recreational activity to play on their flat-screens. It's their job. And in stead of getting "achievement points" for the lives they might claim in battle, they're haunted by them, maybe for the rest of their lives. So while many in my generation would run onto a computer-generated battlefield fearlessly and pull the virtual trigger without a second thought, men and women only a few years older than we have to fight on a real battlefield across the sea and muster an almost super-human amount of courage to fight for their very lives.
As I look at the real-life applications these games are presenting, I feel called to a different duty than to fight for endless hours on a virtual battleground that is far more realistic than it needs to be. I feel the call to have a clean mind free of the images, language, and other raw materials that these games bombard you with. That, in my humble opinion, is a far more valiant duty to be called to.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Courageous
"We were meant to be Courageous, we were meant lead the way, we could be the generation, that finally breaks the chains......"
I've written about this topic before on this blog. I've written about it before on Speaking for the Silent. I even used it to introduce another topic.
Earlier today, I had the chance to talk to a friend who just returned from a mission trip to Peru. As expected, she totally loved it. But as we both talked about our experiences in missions and orphan care, we struck a common note that's rather sad to admit.
There seem to be few guys who are passionate about Missionary Work in today's teenage population.
I admit that I've always been a little bit ashamed of the fact that I'm more emotional than most teenage guys. That I am willing to make myself look a little silly if it means making a little kid's day. But as I've grown up, I've slowly begun to accept that it's who I am, like it or not.
To ironically counteract my opinion, my friend mentioned that the traits within myself I'm not necessarily sure of are what most girls in missionary work appreciate. A guy who's not afraid to get on the floor with the kids. Or get a little misty-eyed at the saddening conditions most Orphans live in. It was kinda reassuring, honestly.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't expect all guys to be tender-hearted and unafraid to show their emotions. Everybody's different. Different people react to something in their own way. But in the same way girls want to love on these kids for hours, I'd love to see guys who'd be willing to start a game of soccer with some of the boys. Teach them how to play catch. How to climb a tree. Guy stuff.
I just finished reading Focus on the Family President Jim Daly's autobiography, Finding Home. As a kid growing up with a VERY broken biological Father and multiple poor examples of what a father figure should be, he attributes many of his struggles as a child to that lacking. In the same way, I feel the lack of passion for Orphan Care among much of society could be contributed in part to the fact that there's a lack of young guys stepping up. We don't seem to be filling the shoes God expects us to as the Future Fathers of the world.
Recently, one of my favorite bands, Casting Crowns, did a song for the upcoming Christian Movie Courageous. The movie is centered around the theme of fatherhood and what it means to be a man of God. When he was discussing the inspiration behind the song, lead singer for Casting Crowns, Mark Hall, gave an interesting perspective. "When I go to the movies," he said, "it has to be epic. I'm a Braveheart/Lord of the Rings type guy. But after the movie ends, there's this weird thing that comes over us guys. We get up and stretch triumphantly, like we've done something incredible. And the thing I don't get is, all we've done is sat on our behinds for 2 1/2 hrs. and watched somebody else's adventure. But I think that it's the hero inside us wanting to come out. Because us guys today, we're passionate, but not about the stuff that matters."
Mark's statement is so true in so many ways. And in some ways, there are some guys stepping up to that ultimatum. Guys I meet at seminaries who are literally giving up the world's definition of "Happiness-" Wealth, no one to answer to, no rules to live by- for a life devoted by God are Courageous. There are other young men entering the Military Forces, Police, or Firefighters. But at the same time, what about the rest of us guys? Is the latest college football news really as important as kids dying of AIDS in Africa?
"Where are you men of courage? You were made for so much more. Let our hearts cry out like warriors, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!"
I've written about this topic before on this blog. I've written about it before on Speaking for the Silent. I even used it to introduce another topic.
Earlier today, I had the chance to talk to a friend who just returned from a mission trip to Peru. As expected, she totally loved it. But as we both talked about our experiences in missions and orphan care, we struck a common note that's rather sad to admit.
There seem to be few guys who are passionate about Missionary Work in today's teenage population.
I admit that I've always been a little bit ashamed of the fact that I'm more emotional than most teenage guys. That I am willing to make myself look a little silly if it means making a little kid's day. But as I've grown up, I've slowly begun to accept that it's who I am, like it or not.
To ironically counteract my opinion, my friend mentioned that the traits within myself I'm not necessarily sure of are what most girls in missionary work appreciate. A guy who's not afraid to get on the floor with the kids. Or get a little misty-eyed at the saddening conditions most Orphans live in. It was kinda reassuring, honestly.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't expect all guys to be tender-hearted and unafraid to show their emotions. Everybody's different. Different people react to something in their own way. But in the same way girls want to love on these kids for hours, I'd love to see guys who'd be willing to start a game of soccer with some of the boys. Teach them how to play catch. How to climb a tree. Guy stuff.
I just finished reading Focus on the Family President Jim Daly's autobiography, Finding Home. As a kid growing up with a VERY broken biological Father and multiple poor examples of what a father figure should be, he attributes many of his struggles as a child to that lacking. In the same way, I feel the lack of passion for Orphan Care among much of society could be contributed in part to the fact that there's a lack of young guys stepping up. We don't seem to be filling the shoes God expects us to as the Future Fathers of the world.
Recently, one of my favorite bands, Casting Crowns, did a song for the upcoming Christian Movie Courageous. The movie is centered around the theme of fatherhood and what it means to be a man of God. When he was discussing the inspiration behind the song, lead singer for Casting Crowns, Mark Hall, gave an interesting perspective. "When I go to the movies," he said, "it has to be epic. I'm a Braveheart/Lord of the Rings type guy. But after the movie ends, there's this weird thing that comes over us guys. We get up and stretch triumphantly, like we've done something incredible. And the thing I don't get is, all we've done is sat on our behinds for 2 1/2 hrs. and watched somebody else's adventure. But I think that it's the hero inside us wanting to come out. Because us guys today, we're passionate, but not about the stuff that matters."
Mark's statement is so true in so many ways. And in some ways, there are some guys stepping up to that ultimatum. Guys I meet at seminaries who are literally giving up the world's definition of "Happiness-" Wealth, no one to answer to, no rules to live by- for a life devoted by God are Courageous. There are other young men entering the Military Forces, Police, or Firefighters. But at the same time, what about the rest of us guys? Is the latest college football news really as important as kids dying of AIDS in Africa?
"Where are you men of courage? You were made for so much more. Let our hearts cry out like warriors, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD!"
Saturday, July 23, 2011
The Ukraine Mentality
When I think back on the seven months since I came home from the Ukraine, I don't think I realized what I was getting myself into when I boarded a plane from Philadelphia Airport to Frankfurt Germany, and from Frankfurt onto Kiev, Ukraine. And even from there, to a six hour train ride to the region my little sister was in. The trip didn't just give me a new sense of the world itself, but of who I was and where my heart lies. I love the verse in scripture that reads "Amen I say to you, wherever your heart lies, there also will your treasure be." If that phrase is nearly as true as I believe it is, than I truly believe that special needs ministry, and maybe even administering more directly to the orphans in the Eastern Block, is part of my life's calling. But we'll see where that goes, or, more importantly, where God uses that to lead me.
I have often thought since about how much I'd love to travel again. To Ukraine, China, anywhere really. Travel, while it may completely throw you out of your comfort zone, honestly gives you a new spin on life, and even makes you learn new things about yourself.
I remember my days in Ukraine like a vividly colored, perfectly done photograph. I'd wake up in the queen-sized bed I had all to myself and see a shaft of light shining across me between the window and the heavy drapes. Me and Dad would have some quick breakfast and shower off military-speed before running down to the sidewalk corner to meet our driver. From there we would go for a couple hours to visit Julia, get some final papers done, etc. The rest of the day, we were usually left to our own devices, so we'd normally hang out in the apartment and watch some movies/update our blog and then at night, walk around the square a couple blocks away where Christmas festivities were in full swing. No matter what you say about Ukrainians, good or bad, one thing is certain: they now how to celebrate and make everything look beautiful for a special occasion. Some nights we even hung out with our good friends the Winkles, a fellow adoptive family. And as one friend of mine put it when describing her adoption trip (to the same region) your life essentially becomes real-life "Groundhog Day," the same routine over and over.
Some might say it was boring. The same schedule over and over again, in the dead of winter, when snow and ice covers EVERYTHING in a place like Ukraine. But there was something so different about living for 10 days in a completely foreign land with a completely foreign language and culture.
You appreciate the everyday frequencies.
Stopping in at McDonalds? A nice end to a day of hard work. Hanging out in the apartment? A quiet time of contemplation and relaxation. Strolling the city at night, albeit freezing your skin off? An experience. Getting to play with your little sister? A precious opportunity to bond and love. Things that might have seemed boring or even ticked you off if you were in your hometown with your usual schedule became an adventure.
Despite the fact I adore my peace, quiet, and predictable schedule, I am, at the same time, a person who wants to taste the unknown, blaze my own trail. Experiencing new places and people is exhilarating. But that interest can often mutate into Jealousy. That somebody else gets to go somewhere and I don't. That I'm stuck in my little neighborhood in middle-of-nowhere NY with my only real way to do anything extraordinary being the internet. But as I've thought about my time in Ukraine, I've come to realize my life wasn't any different. I was just in a different place with a different perspective. Maybe it would be useful to apply it here, even if the place itself is thousands of miles away.
I have often thought since about how much I'd love to travel again. To Ukraine, China, anywhere really. Travel, while it may completely throw you out of your comfort zone, honestly gives you a new spin on life, and even makes you learn new things about yourself.
I remember my days in Ukraine like a vividly colored, perfectly done photograph. I'd wake up in the queen-sized bed I had all to myself and see a shaft of light shining across me between the window and the heavy drapes. Me and Dad would have some quick breakfast and shower off military-speed before running down to the sidewalk corner to meet our driver. From there we would go for a couple hours to visit Julia, get some final papers done, etc. The rest of the day, we were usually left to our own devices, so we'd normally hang out in the apartment and watch some movies/update our blog and then at night, walk around the square a couple blocks away where Christmas festivities were in full swing. No matter what you say about Ukrainians, good or bad, one thing is certain: they now how to celebrate and make everything look beautiful for a special occasion. Some nights we even hung out with our good friends the Winkles, a fellow adoptive family. And as one friend of mine put it when describing her adoption trip (to the same region) your life essentially becomes real-life "Groundhog Day," the same routine over and over.
Some might say it was boring. The same schedule over and over again, in the dead of winter, when snow and ice covers EVERYTHING in a place like Ukraine. But there was something so different about living for 10 days in a completely foreign land with a completely foreign language and culture.
You appreciate the everyday frequencies.
Stopping in at McDonalds? A nice end to a day of hard work. Hanging out in the apartment? A quiet time of contemplation and relaxation. Strolling the city at night, albeit freezing your skin off? An experience. Getting to play with your little sister? A precious opportunity to bond and love. Things that might have seemed boring or even ticked you off if you were in your hometown with your usual schedule became an adventure.
Despite the fact I adore my peace, quiet, and predictable schedule, I am, at the same time, a person who wants to taste the unknown, blaze my own trail. Experiencing new places and people is exhilarating. But that interest can often mutate into Jealousy. That somebody else gets to go somewhere and I don't. That I'm stuck in my little neighborhood in middle-of-nowhere NY with my only real way to do anything extraordinary being the internet. But as I've thought about my time in Ukraine, I've come to realize my life wasn't any different. I was just in a different place with a different perspective. Maybe it would be useful to apply it here, even if the place itself is thousands of miles away.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Come Follow Me (Come Clean)
I would have loved to be in one of the Apostles' shoes at the moment Jesus called them. To feel so boldly drawn to someone that your life changed entirely in that one instant- those three words: "Come, Follow ME."
If only it were that easy today.
I've thought about what God's plan for my life might be since the time I was 9. I'm an overactive imagination, a busy thinker, however you so choose to say it. Bottom line, in my quiet moments, when I'm left to myself, I think. Maybe it feels like God is there listening to my thoughts, maybe it just cuts the quiet on some level. But I've just always thought about where I could be called.
Ever since I was 9, I've considered the possibility of becoming a Priest. I've had the fortune of always having holy and wise priests as my pastors my whole life. The thought of being a spiritual rock and foundation for the faith of many, while a large responsibility, also sounds SO exhilarating. It's something that I pray about and meditate on often- since it IS a life-long call from god, and not just a temporary hire job or something that can be forgotten. It is a binding, life-long commitment, just like marriage.
I remember the first time my mom said to me she'd though I'd make a good special ed teacher, I thought she was nuts. Me? Special Education? What connection would I have with Special Education in my life, ever??? Well, whether my mom is just a good judge of character or she's secretly telepathic, it's something I began to consider all on my own within the last few years. Discovering Reece's Rainbow is, in no small part, responsible for the yearnings in my heart that make me think that no matter what my call in life may or may not be, Special Needs WILL be part of it. Going to the RR get-together further proved for me that Special Needs care and advocating is like my second home- the people involved became like family, the calling felt natural. In the same way that my prayer and faith feel natural, spending time with the Pathfinders residents came second-nature. It just clicked. And I can't help but wonder, could God maybe, just maybe, have some special girl in store for me that would get that, that would feel that call to help those with Special Needs, through adoption and/or education too? I also love kids. Do the math here.
I couldn't consider my life ever moving on without Orphan Care either. If God has called me to something involved with Special Needs, so it is intertwined with the Orphans that are blessed with those Needs. I wonder how far will something like Speaking for the Silent take me before God says it's time to move on?
With all of these thoughts racing through my mind, I am left in a hazy cloud, wondering where I should go. On one hand, I know God is in control and I shouldn't lose the present dwelling on the future. But on the other hand, all I want is to Know. Know where I should be going, what I should be doing, so this feeling of where am I meant to be wasn't so apparent. Thank God for my dear friends like Taylor and Tori, who are also in the Special Needs world and are seeking out their life's work. And my dearest brothers at cathedral prep are more than supportive of a possible vocation in me. God has given me so many positive, and more importantly, Joyful experiences with both of these groups. Trying to piece together the puzzle of my life is tough. As christian singer Audrey Assad sings in her song "Come Clean,"
"I'm picking up the pieces, and I put them where they go- but where do they go? where do they go? Does anything in me know, where do they go?"
I know it will come in time, as God wills it. But for now, I'm left wondering when that call, that last piece of the puzzle will come. And all I can do is hope and pray that soon I'll hear Jesus walk up to me and tell me how best I can answer His invitation to "Come and Follow Me."
If only it were that easy today.
I've thought about what God's plan for my life might be since the time I was 9. I'm an overactive imagination, a busy thinker, however you so choose to say it. Bottom line, in my quiet moments, when I'm left to myself, I think. Maybe it feels like God is there listening to my thoughts, maybe it just cuts the quiet on some level. But I've just always thought about where I could be called.
Ever since I was 9, I've considered the possibility of becoming a Priest. I've had the fortune of always having holy and wise priests as my pastors my whole life. The thought of being a spiritual rock and foundation for the faith of many, while a large responsibility, also sounds SO exhilarating. It's something that I pray about and meditate on often- since it IS a life-long call from god, and not just a temporary hire job or something that can be forgotten. It is a binding, life-long commitment, just like marriage.
I remember the first time my mom said to me she'd though I'd make a good special ed teacher, I thought she was nuts. Me? Special Education? What connection would I have with Special Education in my life, ever??? Well, whether my mom is just a good judge of character or she's secretly telepathic, it's something I began to consider all on my own within the last few years. Discovering Reece's Rainbow is, in no small part, responsible for the yearnings in my heart that make me think that no matter what my call in life may or may not be, Special Needs WILL be part of it. Going to the RR get-together further proved for me that Special Needs care and advocating is like my second home- the people involved became like family, the calling felt natural. In the same way that my prayer and faith feel natural, spending time with the Pathfinders residents came second-nature. It just clicked. And I can't help but wonder, could God maybe, just maybe, have some special girl in store for me that would get that, that would feel that call to help those with Special Needs, through adoption and/or education too? I also love kids. Do the math here.
I couldn't consider my life ever moving on without Orphan Care either. If God has called me to something involved with Special Needs, so it is intertwined with the Orphans that are blessed with those Needs. I wonder how far will something like Speaking for the Silent take me before God says it's time to move on?
With all of these thoughts racing through my mind, I am left in a hazy cloud, wondering where I should go. On one hand, I know God is in control and I shouldn't lose the present dwelling on the future. But on the other hand, all I want is to Know. Know where I should be going, what I should be doing, so this feeling of where am I meant to be wasn't so apparent. Thank God for my dear friends like Taylor and Tori, who are also in the Special Needs world and are seeking out their life's work. And my dearest brothers at cathedral prep are more than supportive of a possible vocation in me. God has given me so many positive, and more importantly, Joyful experiences with both of these groups. Trying to piece together the puzzle of my life is tough. As christian singer Audrey Assad sings in her song "Come Clean,"
"I'm picking up the pieces, and I put them where they go- but where do they go? where do they go? Does anything in me know, where do they go?"
I know it will come in time, as God wills it. But for now, I'm left wondering when that call, that last piece of the puzzle will come. And all I can do is hope and pray that soon I'll hear Jesus walk up to me and tell me how best I can answer His invitation to "Come and Follow Me."
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Family Like No Other (Through Heaven's Eyes)
WOW.
A month.
Seriously?
Oh well, I'm only human. And humans have crazy schedules. And part of that crazy schedule has brought me here today. But first, a little intro:
One of my favorite childhood movies that has stuck with me throughout the rest of my life is the smash-hit animated Musical, Prince of Egypt, which tells the story of Moses from his fateful delivery from slaughter at birth to his call from the Lord to set the Israelites free and the fruit of his labors. One of my favorite parts happens shortly after Moses runs away from Egypt and ends up in the desert valley of Midian. The high priest (and his future father-in-law) tells Moses to look at his life "through Heaven's Eyes," not by earthly standards, ever-changing and belittling as they can be.
I watched that scene during my 16 hourimprisonment wait in Frankfurt Airport this past December on my way to what would be a life-changing trip to the Ukraine. While I can't say it instantly gave me a boatload of patience to endure my wait, it did give me some perspective to live life on. In stead of being annoyed when my favorite munchy snack isn't in the snack drawer, I think of people in Africa who starve for days and don't have a snack drawer. Things of that nature.
For the longest time, I considered family people that were your family. Blood relatives. Brothers and sisters. If they were adopted, it was no different, but in most circumstances, the idea of Christian Unity, crossing all bonds, be it friendship or genetics, to form a family, was absent from my mind.Through this experience, family in general took on new definitions. You didn't need related genes to have a family-like connection. In fact, friends could be the extra support, love, and care your immediate family needed.
Part of my insane schedule in the past month was camping for two weeks' vacation with my family. During that time, the first ever annual Reece's Rainbow Family Reunion would be happening at the campground. I was honestly unsure what to think of the "Family" part. I have and still do meet many beautiful people in the Reece's Rainbow Community over the internet. But the internet and relationships formed therein can really swing from one end of the pendulum to the other: they can either really work out or the can explode. I was honestly wondering which end the pendulum of fate would swing to this time.
I admit some anticipation and nervous emotions at the thought of meeting THE Andrea and Reece Roberts, founder and inspiration respecitvely for all of Reece's Rainbow's existence. But upon meeting them, I was utterly surprised to realize they were just a normal mother and son who had happened to be called to an Extraordinary task: advocating for those without a voice. Then came the other families. Some of them I had known over the internet. Some I had not. but the weird part was that I knew the parents, in stead of the kids. OK, so even if I did get along with the parents, what about the kids?
To say the least, I had some peculiar starting ground to begin from.
When the vans pulled up and the doors opened, I braced myself. I though to myself, there's a good possibility that a potential friendship with these kids is gonna sink like a torpedoed cruise ship. But maybe there's an outside chance I'll have a break through.
I could talk for hours about all the experiences and joys of that weekend. But I think I sum it all up when I say that we were all teary wrecks when goodbyes came around. And only in that group of people can I laugh when people are taking pictures of us looking like teary messes. If I learned one thing from the weekend, it was this: the love that those with a heart for special needs have for those they work with/for extends to all those around them. We accepted each other with open arms and hugs. All our pros, and all our cons. Our pasts were our pasts. The people we became, became all that mattered. If somebody needed to leave an event or take a breather, there were no grunts of annoyance or nasty comments. There was no judgement.
We were not perfect people, nor were we in a perfect world. But we loved each other through Heaven's Eyes, whether we knew it or not, and that made all the difference.
Reece's Rainbow Reunion 2011 Slideshow from Caleb Lococo on Vimeo.
A month.
Seriously?
Oh well, I'm only human. And humans have crazy schedules. And part of that crazy schedule has brought me here today. But first, a little intro:
One of my favorite childhood movies that has stuck with me throughout the rest of my life is the smash-hit animated Musical, Prince of Egypt, which tells the story of Moses from his fateful delivery from slaughter at birth to his call from the Lord to set the Israelites free and the fruit of his labors. One of my favorite parts happens shortly after Moses runs away from Egypt and ends up in the desert valley of Midian. The high priest (and his future father-in-law) tells Moses to look at his life "through Heaven's Eyes," not by earthly standards, ever-changing and belittling as they can be.
I watched that scene during my 16 hour
For the longest time, I considered family people that were your family. Blood relatives. Brothers and sisters. If they were adopted, it was no different, but in most circumstances, the idea of Christian Unity, crossing all bonds, be it friendship or genetics, to form a family, was absent from my mind.Through this experience, family in general took on new definitions. You didn't need related genes to have a family-like connection. In fact, friends could be the extra support, love, and care your immediate family needed.
Part of my insane schedule in the past month was camping for two weeks' vacation with my family. During that time, the first ever annual Reece's Rainbow Family Reunion would be happening at the campground. I was honestly unsure what to think of the "Family" part. I have and still do meet many beautiful people in the Reece's Rainbow Community over the internet. But the internet and relationships formed therein can really swing from one end of the pendulum to the other: they can either really work out or the can explode. I was honestly wondering which end the pendulum of fate would swing to this time.
I admit some anticipation and nervous emotions at the thought of meeting THE Andrea and Reece Roberts, founder and inspiration respecitvely for all of Reece's Rainbow's existence. But upon meeting them, I was utterly surprised to realize they were just a normal mother and son who had happened to be called to an Extraordinary task: advocating for those without a voice. Then came the other families. Some of them I had known over the internet. Some I had not. but the weird part was that I knew the parents, in stead of the kids. OK, so even if I did get along with the parents, what about the kids?
To say the least, I had some peculiar starting ground to begin from.
When the vans pulled up and the doors opened, I braced myself. I though to myself, there's a good possibility that a potential friendship with these kids is gonna sink like a torpedoed cruise ship. But maybe there's an outside chance I'll have a break through.
I could talk for hours about all the experiences and joys of that weekend. But I think I sum it all up when I say that we were all teary wrecks when goodbyes came around. And only in that group of people can I laugh when people are taking pictures of us looking like teary messes. If I learned one thing from the weekend, it was this: the love that those with a heart for special needs have for those they work with/for extends to all those around them. We accepted each other with open arms and hugs. All our pros, and all our cons. Our pasts were our pasts. The people we became, became all that mattered. If somebody needed to leave an event or take a breather, there were no grunts of annoyance or nasty comments. There was no judgement.
We were not perfect people, nor were we in a perfect world. But we loved each other through Heaven's Eyes, whether we knew it or not, and that made all the difference.
Reece's Rainbow Reunion 2011 Slideshow from Caleb Lococo on Vimeo.
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