I wish it was easier to help people see the beauty inside of them and to
empower them to show it.
empower them to show it.
Maybe not using that word precisely, because sometimes beauty isn’t the
thing people chase most-
thing people chase most-
Some fight for confidence, others recognition, and others wisdom, and still others words my tired
mind can’t conjure.
But to tell them they’re loved, and that they are worthy of possessing
authentic love and the
authentic love and the
confidence that accompanies it.
For how often do we doubt our own beauty? Our own lovability?
We build walls to hide within because of that doubt.
Walls built in tears of insecurities, self-assessed failures, and uncontrollable betrayals
Bricks like chains that we think will protect but only restrain.
I wish I could stand there as an observer
Like a doctor who can diagnose an illness while remaining well.
But I am a patient too.
I wish I wasn’t so afraid to show people I love them.
I wish that sometimes I could love without fear of unreturned affection or
outright rejection.
outright rejection.
I wish I could love without expecting my love will solve problems.
Learning that maybe living in amicable, harmonious brokenness where we slowly heal each other and work through each other’s struggles is
enough.
enough.
I wish that sometimes when I try to love, that people wouldn’t shy away
Scared from past experiences that people only love when something’s in it for them
That there’s an ulterior motive that will ultimately leave them used and
discarded
once more.
discarded
once more.
I wish that people who "loved” like that, that caused that fear, would see the damage they leave in their wake and change
their ways.
Why do we the wounded shy away from finding healing?
Showing love and removing armor are synonymous.
And I think it is for that reason the we refrain
Restrain, hold back love and words of love and pleas to be loved when we feel weak
Because taking armor off leaves the potential for wounding and exposure of past scars.
We don’t want to share our thoughts or opinions for fear they will be shot
down
down
Because they have been invalidated and ridiculed before
And we still carry the weight of those comments in our hearts.
And it is thus that we walk in armor.
Armor that ultimately weighs and slows us down
When we would ultimately be freer and just as protected
By shedding the armor, that we might run freely through life without the
weight of hiding past
weight of hiding past
wounds and insecurities.
I wonder what the world would be like if we all felt loved?
If emotional impoverishment were replaced by empowerment
That our flaws do not define us or the likelihood we would find
lasting relationships.
lasting relationships.
That we can conquer whatever challenges we face with the gifts and
talents we possess
talents we possess
If we would only choose to believe in ourselves and that we have a greater purpose.
How much more open and honest our conversations would be?
How much less likely any of us would have been bullied, abused,
or compromised by people who felt the only way to compensate for lack of love
in their own lives
or compromised by people who felt the only way to compensate for lack of love
in their own lives
Was to decrease another human being’s amorous sanctuary or strength in their identity.
May we all some day find the way to tell at least one person how loved
and beautiful they are every
and beautiful they are every
single day.
Through embraces to greet and farewell
Through coffee and conversation that knit friendships.
Through handmade gifts of genuine goodwill.
Through everyday “I love you’s” and unexpected displays of affection that aren’t grand as much as
they are generous and authentic.
Through little encouragements in listening and speaking support.
May we all find ways to show love and feel it inside ourselves.
So that loving and telling someone they are beautiful and worthy to be
loved
loved
Is no longer an unusual occurrence
But an everyday opportunity to build bricks of confidence
and companionship where
and companionship where
tears once laid.
Wow Caleb, respect to you for opening up and expressing a very personal and positive. I will revisit this when I have more time and I'd like to talk to you more about this sometime--or perhaps that's what this is for. haha
ReplyDelete*positive 'message' I meant to say.
ReplyDeleteMy initial reaction was reluctance...hesitation..fear about opening up and being exposed. But that's part of what you're trying to do here, isn't it. Perhaps I need to walk through that fear of opening up. I guess I fear being exposed, criticism, judgment.. but when I do face this fear the open up the results are almost always very good! So, I thank you for providing the opportunity for me and other people who experience similar thoughts and feelings. You're a good dude Caleb!! verie