Friday, March 18, 2011

Hold Me Jesus

Faith is always something that I've struggled to keep all the time, in full high gear. I KNOW how great it feels to trust in God completely, but as has often been said, sometimes, the hardest journey is the 6 inches from your head to your heart. 

While in many ways this week has been GREAT, there are times where despair has overtaken me. Both of my two siblings closest to me in age tried out for a production of The Sound of Music at our local theater and got turned down. As my friend Tori gets ready to leave for a Mission to Peru, I am undeniably happy for her, but wonder when my own time will come. We have suffered terrible losses in Japan to the Tsunami and Earthquake, which has rocked the world over. Toughest for my personal social circles, though, has been the denial of a little Boy in Eastern Europe to be adopted by a young couple who have been pursuing him for over a year. Crushing enough as that is on its own, this little boy is in the same region as Tori's little sister. Her parents are going to face the SAME judge on their upcoming court date. If, God forbid, something goes wrong there, its probably going to be the end of the line for another family trying to adopt from there too. Add in that I feel like a complete moron because I can think of no proper words of consolation for these people and you can see where I'm coming from (I hope).

At one point in the week amongst all of the turmoil I just described, I logged onto my other blog (Speaking for the Silent) and found that my perfect little "Like Box" (I.E., a little box where you can like the Facebook page I've set up for the blog and see how many people like it as well) had mysteriously disappeared  after I had added an Adoptive Family's donation button. Now, in hindsight, it was probably God telling me it wasn't the right time or place, because this button belonged to the little boy who has currently been denied his family. But at the time, it just seemed like a nice little hindrance to trip me up. So instead of blaming computers, (which are arguably the most annoying pieces of junk Technology on the face of the planet), or Facebook, or just how finnicky this stuff can be, I simply thought

"Why me God? Haven't you given me enough today?"

Shortly thereafter, a new rendition of one of my favorite Christian Music classics, "Hold Me Jesus," came on the radio. it summarized so perfectly what I needed to realize at that moment: When the chips are down, and you just want to give up and not try and believe in the Savior who rescued you from the worst fate possible, rest on him and let him hold you, and be amazed at where that will take you.

To accompany the post, I have two new songs in the playlist at the bottom of the page, that have relevance to the post. The 1st (numerically) is this post's namesake. the second is an acoustic recording of Chris Rice's "Untitled Hymn/Fall on Jesus." Listen to them and feel the comfort of your Savior surround you.

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