Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Having Faith and Knowing It's all His

I'm about halfway up the wall. It's probably about 300 feet tall. At times, the hand holds come easy. I can feel my feet securely holding in the foot holds. As I continue up the rock wall, I hit a hard spot. For a split second, I feel the bungee chord holding me up ever so slightly loosen as the guy on the ground re-adjusts his grip. Once I feel the tension come back, I face the fact I'm going to have to stretch a little. I'll have to put my foot on a teeny tiny little foot hold about the length of a ritz cracker. I know it'll obviously be steadier, but that in-between niche between here and the next set of good handholds seems worlds apart. I reach out, and when I feel my feet and hands safely settle in, I move forward with renewed courage.

Faith. It's a thing I can never get a good "handhold" (metaphorically speaking) on. At times. I can get a good chunky grip to hold onto and enjoy the view from my standing. And other times, I feel like the in-between spots on the rock wall at camp. My hands get clammy, My mind shuts down and my #1 instinct is to let go completely (in the case of the rock wall, though, I'd kindly ask to be let down). Right now is one of those times.

If you read adoption blogs, are in the process, are in the inside loop, or whatever connection you may have, you know that a certain Eastern European Country is trying to get a vote under way that could be VERY detrimental to some families trying to adopt. It cold happen tomorrow, next week, next year, next century. Nobody except that country's officials knows. While I won't get into all the techy details of it, the simple math equation that could explain this runs as follows: Delegates vote not in favor of Americans + Long wait = a lot of orphans sitting in orphanages for no reason while families redo TONS (and I do mean TONS) of paperwork. Its scary. It really is like a watered-down doomsday for families trying to adopt from EE. While I'm sure they've tried to put some shock absorbers up in Heaven to take in the sheer amount of prayers rising up for this cause, there's always that annoying little "What if?" voice in the back of your head. What if that wait does come into action? How will all those families redo all of that work in time?

But there's another voice. That one people whisper about having some day in the refugee camps in Darfur. The one that rises out of every crisis in Man's history: Hope. No matter how bleak things are, its still there. And its got a buddy: Truth. The Truth that God is in control and that he will know best what to do, even if we question it.

So right now, yes, a lot of people are reaching out clammy hands to grab a handhold that may or may not support us. But God is in control, and he knows what will happen, and that it will all end up for the better.

Post Script: I don't want this post to sound preachy or anything. I hope I have given anyone who reads it confidence about the events imposing on the Adoption Community right now. Best wishes.

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