Wonderin'

Well I'm wonderin' 'bout the road ahead of me, wonderin' 'bout the things you said to me, wonderin' if these dreams will ever do? Well I'm wonderin' bout the way I spend my days, wonderin' if its even worth the chase, wonderin' if they're stealin' me from you.

-Tobymac, " Wonderin' "

Since I've been home from camp, I've had so much thoguht to process. Everything that went through my mind, changed, or started. On top of those things, there's real life as well. As most of you who know me would say, I tend to be a little bit quieter and more contemplative at times. I think a LOT about everything. I'm almost like my digital camera. When you go to playback mode, the lense zooms out and shuts off. Likewise, my eyes and ears tend to shut off and I'm left in my own thoughts. Lately, though, a couple of things occupy my thoughts.

Our little girl. What are her days like? What does she do? Is she well taken care of? What will it be like getting to actually go to Eastern Europe and pick her up? What will the plane and train rides (each about 12 hours apiece) be like? When we have to travel with her, what will that be like? How will she react ot me, a six foot male as compared to all the short little European women who run the place? What will we find out about her then and when we're home? I'm so excited to be picking her up. Taking pictures of her, taping mom's reunion and my first meeting with her (Mom and Dad will have already taken a trip before this one), getting to see her home country, and being on the recieving end of the welcome-home party at the airport and/or house when we arrive back.

If there is one thing I haven't mentioned Camp Veritas doing, it's turning my heart to consider the Call. Many of my ancestors considered it in their youth, and I would consider it an honor to be one. Just one problem: Priests have to take a vow of Celibacy (fancy word for no spouse/family). If it isn't clear yet, I LOVE little kids. I can't comprehend the joy of having my own and growing old with the most amazing person in the world to me (mind you I don't know who that is quite yet, or haven't gotten to that level with anyone I know). However Priests do minister to families a lot, and I'd have lots of loving people surrounding me. I'm still young, though, so I can consider for a couple more years.

School. It's that time again! I'm doing an actual Homeshooling program for High School to get a Diploma (as opposed to my Mom using multiple resources to make a custom curriculum) so It's easier to get into college. How will I do? Will I be able to pay for college or do well enough on My SAT's to get a good scholarship? Only time will tell.

And Last but certainly not least, am I living a life that praises God as much as I try or am I falling short? Probably falling short. But how much? Where can I improve on?

Then again, I think we all have our own struggles, And there are things we're all, well, wonderin' about.